Ai Fang and me were chatting in malay the whole night.
VERY refreshing I must say.

Talked about empathy, love and ideals alot.
in MALAY i repeat
VERY cool chat.
HAHAH.
=)

terima kasih banyak banyak.
lol.




Random.
I checked my CCA points again today.
I know what to expect already la, but just felt good to look at it.
Then a random thought, if you're dying for a conclusion to how worth it
your life as a committee member was - for me at least - then even if you got
no real info, the Gold Award waiting is all you need.
Hah.
Pathetic i know, to display that fact here.
But hey, what can YOU do about it.


Shoo fly, don't bother me. =)

I have this condition where I have to sometimes spew random good stuff abt myself to defend myself.
I dislike it, but it appears anyway.

It's come along now.
And there's nothing I can do about it.

Obviously not something I would discuss abt here,
cause of the potential misunderstandings.

Damn it.

I'm not quite sure why.
But while I was alone in the clubhouse from around 6-8pm today,
I could not stop playing Amos Lee's 'Colors'
and at the same time, watching IRYU.

I just kept repeating the song over & over again,
not once looking at the guitar, but just
watching the show with silent intensity.

No, I'm not obsessed with the show.
Its the fact that I was playing the song along with the show.
It's something.. else...
No clue what it is though (:






and i'm exhausted.
no drive to do anything much.

Anyway.
Entering the final year now.
I hope I won't fail any modules.

And I'm kinda nervous about nxt year's NAPFA test.

Minimum targets are

Sit-Ups: 80
Shuttle Run: 8.5 seconds
Pull-ups: 15
Sit&Reach: 45cm
Standing Broad Jump: 255cm
2.4km: 8:15min

changed.
too much?.
whatever.

Time to pack whatever stuff I got in the clubhse now.
Shoes&Guitar coming home with me.
SHOES.
finally they're gonna leave their adopted home.
Sad.

Hm.
I'm thinking.
Closer.
But also further at the same time huh?
And yet, what i'm moving closer to is different than the one i'm moving away from.
Heh.






randomness prevails.
I've been stuck on crunchyroll and fifa today.
not constructive at all.
a tiny bit of GI drugs went in though.

Oh, and Paula put this on her blog.
So I copied the idea.
I gave up putting up all this stuff on my blog ages ago.
But oh well.
Once in awhile.
Hah.

What Mirza Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

Poat450




I'm a simple person.
Yet, so complicated.
I'm full of logical contradictions, believe it or not.
I can be ironic, yet very true.

If you wanted to know about my whole personality.
You could write your own research paper.
And would still never get to the conclusion.

Bottomline is.
Take me for who I am.
I'm one of the good fellas.
HAHA.




Syafiq posted about how if you were put in a room alone and could have a box, how big it would be. The bigger the box we wanted the bigger our ego.
True, true.

But let's think out of the box for abit. (no pun intended)
The smaller the box.
The BIGGER your ego.

Why.
Imagine you're in a room alone.
You can get a box as a companion.
You ask for a box the same size as you.
Your ego is well balanced.
But imagine if you were thinking along the lines of, say, if the box was bigger than you, it might dominate the room, so you'd rather have a small box which you can have control over. No matter what you dont wanna be "overrun" by that box.

Ego.
Big.
Don't get it.
Or don't agree.
Not my problem. =)


Oh and a random bit.
Why is it when I make lame jokes sometimes, I get flamed by another person who's in a bad mood, when I am in the same mood, I don't react to the same actions (sometimes by the same other person)
Why.

Quotes mean alot to many people
There are thousands of different kinds and millions more I guess.
From the good, to the lame, and to the famous ones.

And I think many people have a certain quote or a few that they live by.
To guide them in their life.
Be it for daily use, or to follow a certain direction.

Quotes can be powerful motivators.

However, people have got to know what quotes best suit them, and how mixing too many and making too big a deal out of them could be contraindicating, especially if it doesnt suit their personality.

Take for example the quote by Kurt Hahn
"We are all better than we know. If we can be taught this, we may never again settle for anything less"

True. I like this.
Then how about this.
"The past is an experience, the present is your experiment, the future is your expectations.
So use your experience in your experiment to achieve your expectations"

This.
Makes sense.
But.
I have a problem with it.
You look into the past, and look at your successes and FAILURES. The good and the BAD. And you use these experiences to experiment with new ways to do things to prevent past errors so that you can achieve what you want in the future.

However.
I'm someone who has a problem looking into the past and all the stuff that I have done wrong or regretted doing.
I'm good at moving on immediately and forgetting stuff.
But once I start thinking about the past, I only think about the event, and not how to correct it. My emotions will get control of me here.
It just doesnt get through no matter how hard I try.

So that's why it's important to keep track of what quotes you think you need to use.
Lose control of them, or get too obsessed with them, and you may end up losing yourself and not know who you are.



Sounds alien.
But.
True.




I've been having dreams abt the same thing for the past week.
It's rather tiring.

Simple lines from my friends
are good enough to please me.
One such example follows.

you:i dont have anything for you =(
me: no worries. I nvr expect anything
you:thankyou you soo much! (:

Haha.
The above sounds random but doesnt matter.
I guess I'm rather easy to please.
Today was a rather happy day la anyway.
A few happy moments here and there.
Came to school to do some work, get some studying done.

Gave Midori and Shujuan their belated homemade Valentine's Day Cards.
Yes. Homemade.
But nice.

Ran with Derrick as well.
Campus. Sprinting. Excellent.

And the highlight of the day has gotta be Syafiq, Derrick and myself chilling out in front of the cheers at school.
From 6.30pm to 10pm
Just plain talking and slacking off.
What great friends I have from this most lovely club.

suspicious minds.

not just a good song

Yup.
There you go YET again.

--------------------

Today has been totally constructive.
Guitar
Plus photos.
Plus revision.
All at the same time.

I love multi-tasking.

I went to school today, from Changi Airport, just to get my dear guitar.
Practically hugged it home.

But still, I come home extremely pissed.
Ya know.
You could have gone tomorrow or wednesday, but NO.
Had to be today.
So yes, I'll be in a lousy mood the nxt couple of days, so do TRY at least not to get me ticked off okay?
Thank God for bagpack scouting tomorrow and something else on wednesday...

Oh. I just thought.
Why is my life so very FAIR yet UNFAIR and vice versa?
(i just thought of this 10 seconds ago)
It seems to be going in a good way, then spirals back on itself, then turns around again.
And all in such a short time span.
Its annoying cause of the unfairness, and ALSO because of the fairness.
Like, how, I'm gonna be a very angry person the nxt couple of days, yet I have activities lined up the next two days that should cool me down.
Its funny, actually.
Just that I'm not laughin cause I'm in no mood to. =)

Oh well, whatever.


Anyway.
I've deleted my last post cause I think I'm confusing you guys somewhat.
Hah. =P

Today was a randomly nice day.
Had no plans.
Was falling asleep in front of the laptop, so decided to ask Derrick and Syafiq to go hang out.

Ended up going to watch Ah Long Pte Ltd.
Asked clement alon so we could complete the group
And so, the ZOMG clan finally have an outing.
The movie was uncontrollably hilarious.

And, as usual, when people like us are sitted somewhere chilling,
we tend to talk ALOT rainging from rubbish to serious stuff,
as we did just now.

Wonderful time out.
More soon....................................

Interesting fact about my wardrobe

I have

19 Black Tops
14 White Tops
9 Blue Tops
7 Red/Orange Tops
5 Green
1 Mixed
1 Grey

7 of all these are NPOB shirts.

And today, while walking home, my siblings n mom saw this cat beside a tree.
And I couldnt see it.
At night, for once, my colour-blindness hits me.

Yup.
It really isnt funny when I can't see real things because of their colour.

Labels: of clothes...

I had a long, hard think - should I go for the long, explain-it-all post, or just keep it short and sweet?

-------------------------

14th AGM has ended.
The full realization that I'm stepping down came full forward last night.

For the first time, in a LONG, LONG time, I cried.
Not crazily, just tearing mostly.

And you knw what?
I'm glad I did.
I feel good, well, better, about myself now.

And i kinda liked that thrill of all your emotions, sadness or joy or anger all coming out at once. It happened once the 14 Comm got into our little circle. Just the 12 of us, without anyone else to disturb.
I loved our chat and the 'FINAL BLOOD BROTHERS'.
In our true OB spirit, we did it in a humid place, windbreakers on. 14 reps per leg. Not a hint of sweat.

Had a hug around.
I've nvr hugged so many people at one time.
Haha. Really.
ELEVEN people.
I remember my first hug from a friend, was after the first hospital attachment, from Paula.

I said to myself," Oh, so that's what a hug feels like".
Last night: " THAT'S what a hug REALLY feels like"
LOL
Oh, and Wen Ting has my vote for most huggable of the 11. Haha.

Oh.
Random.
I think wearing the windbreaker made it easier to dry off the tears of the person who hugged you or you hugged.
Haha.

Its kinda cool, sitting down, and laughing and crying at the same time.
Funny too.
Like when me and Rachel were sitting somewhere and discussing some sad stuff, and teared even more, and I made a lame joke about how I must have drank too much orange cordial and she told me I should have gone to pee first.
Finding joy, in sadness.
Fun, fun.
Oh and wearing contacts kinda made me tear automatically, even after I 'stopped'.
LOL.

Kinda embarrassing - for someone like ME - to go back into Innospark and everyone going,"you crieeeed??"
Haha. Lame huh.

But oh well.
Like I said.
I feel better about myself.
Overall, the night was great.
It ended up the way we wanted it to be, full of emotion.

No one remembers any flaw in the program.
And who cares if someone hardly bothered to acknowledge another's prescence right? (emphasize on hardly, so its not did not bother all)
hahahaa.

With my 14 Comm and everyone else there, of course I'm happy.
[even though my parents grounded me]
hahah.



Oh.
I thought of making a whole list of stuff I would miss, but I saw that Ying Jia already did it. And since she's graduating, she has better reason to do it, so I shan't copy. =)

Also.
To the year3s. Hope you guys love the stuff you got. I especially liked the "diplomas" you all got. Even though I didn't have things to write about EVERYONE, just know that I still appreciate you guys cause each and everyone of you are great people, in alot of ways and everyone has been great to me.

As for those that I did write to, Ben & Ying Jia in particular, I had a tough time writing it down.
Cause there was so much to say and I didn't know which thoughts to put down.
But if I had to write down all the stuff, each of you would get a 3000 word essay (or more) LOL. To the guy that I look up most to, and to the girl who I enjoy imparting my 'skills' on. Thanks alot you two.

Oh, and I ALMOST forgot.

Ok no.
I remember very well.
The biggest of luck to Syafiq, our graduating zomg brother.
HAHAHHAHAH.
---------------------------------

Well oh well.
Looks like I went for the explain-it-all.
Its kinda messy huh?
Oh well.


THERE WAS NOTHING IN THERE BUT YOU